Not Another Harry Potter Teen Fiction!
by Alicia C. Summers
Summary: Oh no! Someone set a spell on Hogwarts and now everyone is acting stranger than usual. What happens when Hogwarts goes Teen Movie? "Is it just me Fred, or does this remind you of that muggle movie we saw at Angelinas house?" PG-13 for some crude sexual
1. Somethings Wrong

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Harry Potter, and I do not own any movie that these ideas come from. This is simply just for fun.

AN: I was watching Not Another Teen Movie the other night, and I got to thinking how funny it would be if this was a HP fanfic. Needless to say I started in on it right away. The list of characters are below so you can get an idea who everyone will sort of be. Now remember everyone will be completely OOC, but hey, its my fic and I can make them any way I want them to be. This fic will be written a very different way then most others. I promise by the end everything will make sense. If you have any questions feel free to email me. 

Harry Potter ~ The Popular Jock

Hermione Granger ~ The Pretty Ugly Girl 

Ron Weasley ~ The Obsessed Best Friend 

Draco Malfoy ~ The Cocky Blonde Guy 

Lee Jordan ~ The Token Black Guy

George & Fred Weasley ~ The Voices of Reason

Ginny Weasley ~ The Invisible Friend 

Angelina Johnson ~ Cheerleader Number One 

Alicia Spinnet ~ Cheerleader Number Two 

Katie Bell ~ Cheerleader Number Three 

Seamus Finnegan ~ The Desperate Virgin 

Dean Thomas ~ The Wannabe 

Neville Longbottom ~ The Sensitive Guy 

Dumbledore ~ The Really Old Perverted Guy 

Fleur Delacour ~ The Foreign Exchange Student 

Crabbe & Goyle ~ The Equally Stupid Guys 

Cho Chang ~ The Perfect Girl 

Oliver Wood ~ The Beautiful Weirdo 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not Another Harry Potter Teen Fiction!

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By: Alicia C. Summers 

Something was terribly wrong at Hogwarts. To Ron, things that were beginning to happen just weren't normal, but then again Ron Weasley wasn't the normal teenage boy in the first place. For one thing he happened to be one of seven children in his entire family, and then there was the fact that he was a wizard. A very hormonal wizard with an incredible crush on his best friend. No, not Harry Potter, in fact that was one of the strange things. Harry had completely blown him off to go hang out with a new group of kids, and that wasn't the only strange thing. Other people had changed completely as well, and not just a small change, A HUGE change. Take the Quidditch chasers Angelina, Alicia and Katie for example. They had always been sweet and utterly nice to him. Yet yesterday the completely snapped and began talking in this weird language referring everything and anything to Quidditch. If he wasn't mistaken he had actually heard Alicia Spinnet call herself the Quid-tator. 

Anyway, his best friend had assured him that nothing had changed and that he was just coming down with some sort of bug. This best friend, Hermione Granger, had also assured him that masturbation was entirely healthy for people at their age, which was why he was alone in his dorm in the first place. Holding a picture of Hermione in one hand Ron reached for his bottle of lotion and sprawled out on his bed. His roommates, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Harry, wouldn't be back for hours, and that was all the time he needed to reach that pleasurable point. Actually he really only needed about 5.6 minutes to get the entire deed done. 

He started slowly, murmuring to himself as he stared at the picture. If only Hermione knew how much she drove him crazy, but of course she didn't. She was too busy reading books and studying. What kind of normal teenage life was that! 

__

"If only she were here right now" he thought, drooling over the picture of her. "Hermione, Oh Merlin, Hermione!" He called out and closed his eyes. If she couldn't be there at the moment, the best he could do was pretend she was there. Although it really didn't help that much. It also didn't help that just as he was about to reach his peak the door to his dorm slammed open and two giggling figures stumbled into the room. 

"Ronnikins, what in the world are you doing?" George Weasley smirked as his identical twin brother Fred bounded in behind him. 

"OOhh…uughh…ehhh…" Was all he managed to blurt out as he quickly brought his blankets up over the lower half of his body. 

__

So close! I was so damn close! 

"Ron, you look a little flushed. You feeling ok? " Fred took a few steps closer to his bed and reached out to touch his forehead. 

"I'm fine! Just go away. Come back in a few minutes." His words were short and breathy and George and Fred just smirked more. 

"Are you hiding something from us dear brother? What were you doing before we came in here?" George leaned across the bed and swiped the picture of Hermione which was conveniently sticking out from under the blanket. " Oh…I see now…" 

"Give that back!" Ron's temper began to rise and he sat up a bit straighter in his bed. "That's mine!" 

Fred just snickered and took the picture from George. " I do say George, I think little Ronnikins was doing something terribly explicit before we arrived. If you really want this picture mate I suggest you come and take it from us." 

Ron lowered his gaze to his groin for a slight second before shaking his head. " I can't do that at the moment. Just give it here." He held out his clean hand and ushered for the picture. 

"No can do chum, it looks like we will be confiscating this picture and hanging on the bulletin in the common room. We'll let everyone know you swoon over Hermione in the privacy of your dorm." They began to move towards the door and Ron felt his heart beat quicken. 

__

If they post that, it will all be over for me!

"No!" Jumping from the bed, Ron held the blanket firmly around his waist, but it was no use. It was completely evident as to what he was doing before they came in.

"Oh my word!" George let out a giant howl. " Looks like little Ronnikins isn't so little after all." 

Fred held his stomach in laughter and tossed the photo back to Ron. Turning towards George he let out a sigh and glanced around the room. " Do you see what's going on here George? Have you caught on to it yet? Everyone acting so strange, people doing things they wouldn't normally do. I mean did you get a look at who Harry was sitting with this morning? " George simply shook his head and Fred sighed. " Looks as though we're stuck in one of those sexual teenage stories. Like the ones they have in muggle movies. " George stared blankly at him and Ron furrowed his brow. " Oh come on, you know. There will be a drastic change in everyone I suppose. Someone will be pining over his best friend." He cocked his head towards Ron, " There will be a really popular guy who will make some sort of stupid bet with a cocky blonde guy. An ugly girl will suddenly become beautiful, and there will be loads of sexual content. " 

"Oh! One of those! " George grinned. 

" Actually I'm beginning to feel excited. Usually there's a really hot foreign girl who shows up. Perhaps she will take off her clothes for us. " Fred shrugged, " Looks like we will have to be the voice of reason for everyone. Merlin knows these kids will probably get out of hand." 

"I agree old chap. " Heading out the door George angled his head towards Fred again. "You suppose this is some sort of spell? Someone a bit bored with the way things were going…ya know, changed things for the fun of it?" 

"Quite possible, quite possible, but I do believe things are going to get frightening around here." Closing the door behind them Ron glanced around the vacant room and sighed. 

"Frightening indeed…" 

~~~~

Hermione Granger walked briskly towards the library dodging passing students in the process. The day had lagged on longer than usual, and all she could think about was getting back to her dormitory without running into anyone she might regret seeing. Turning the corner of the corridor, Hermione adjusted the stack of books in her arms just as she collided with another figure. 

"Oh I'm really very sorry." She began, brushing off her robe and getting to her feet. 

" I'm awfully sorry Hermione, I do hope you're ok. " Neville Longbottom smiled genuinely at her and got to his feet as well. 

"Its alright Neville. I have this tendency to absorb myself in my own little world and disregard everything else around me. I'm a unique bookworm if you must know. " Picking up her books she glanced over her shoulder and gasped at what she saw. She had to get out of there before they saw her. " Sorry Neville, but I need to run. " Without another word Hermione took off down the hall, her body jerking in different directions as she ran. 

"Well that was strange." Looking over his own shoulder Neville shook his head at the sight. " No wonder she took off." Leaning against the wall his eyes followed the small group as they approached. Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Lee Jordan, Crabbe and Goyle strolled by. In fact they strolled by in slow motion. It took nearly four minutes before they completely walked by Neville. 

"God those guys are wack, yo…" Dean Thomas emerged from behind a group of girls with a smirking Seamus Finnegan. 

"Listen guys, those jerks aren't our real problem. The real problem is my lonely member and the fact that we are possibly the only virgins left in this establishment!" Seamus rolled his eyes and started down the hall with his friends at his heels. 

"Seamus you need to relax. It's perfectly normal that we still hold on to our virginity." Neville sighed again.

Moving down the hall a commotion up ahead caught their attention. It took a moment before they realized what exactly was going on, but by the looks of things Justin Finch-Fletchley and Hannah Abbot were completely naked and snogging in the corridor. 

__

"Well my word." Neville thought, his eyes glued to the sight. 

__

"Damn this makes me feel all good and what not." Dean smirked and continued to watch.

__

"If I don't get laid soon I wont hold myself accountable for anything I do…" Seamus groaned and pushed through the crowd but stopped abruptly. 

There she was! Heading down the stairs Seamus felt his mouth grow dry as Cho Chang slowly moved by him. 

"Wow, Cho Chang…." He sighed and pulled out a piece of parchment from his pocket. " I've been in love with her since first year…" 

George Weasley was strolling down the corridor as he overheard this, and nearly choked at the words. Rushing over to Seamus he arched his eyebrow. 

"Seamus, mate, you have never liked Cho Chang. In fact last year you said you wouldn't sleep with her if she was the last witch in school. Harry Potter is the one who wants to shag her, not you…" George let out a deep breath and stared between them. Unfortunately they all looked back at him with blank expressions. " Did you hear anything I said? Seamus you are not a desperate virgin! In fact you have slept with Lavender Brown more times then I've been with…well...that's not important. And Dean, you are not some wannabe black guy…if you haven't noticed…you really are, and Neville…Im not quite sure what you are, but you've basically stayed the same." 

"Of course everything has stayed the same. In fact a few hours ago I let Dean fondle me for a bit like I always do…" Neville stated in a very assured voice. 

George blinked. " Did any of you hear a word I just said? " 

"What in bloody hell are you talking about George? " Seamus shook his head. " I've always loved Cho Chang. She is the perfect human specimen, and once I give her this letter I will make her mine." Seamus grinned and pulled on Deans robe. " Come on…we have work to do…" As they disappeared down the hall George groaned. 

" We need to find out how to reverse this spell…" Slipping down the hall George went to look for Fred. 


	2. AN

Hey, I'm heading off to the Bahamas for a week so I won't be able to update. I figured I would set up this message so anyone who was curious would know. See you in a week!

Alicia C. Suumers


	3. The Bet

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Harry Potter, and I do not own any movie that these ideas come from. This is simply just for fun.

AN: Well I'm back from the Bahamas, and let me tell you I certainly love New York. Everything in the Bahamas was so strange. Anyway, here's the next chapter…thanks for reviewing, and please continue. 

Sorry this one is short, but I wanted to get something up as quickly as I could. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2 ~ The Bet 

Harry wasn't exactly sure what came over him recently but whatever it was it made him feel infinite. Not only did his popularity status soar, but his new group of friends made him feel like he could possibly get through anything. Although there were many times where he wanted to hex Draco for being so damn cocky. Life was good, so good in fact there was absolutely nothing that could possibly foil this grand day. 

" So how are things going today Goyle? " Harry leaned against the wall in the corridor with his friends. 

" I reckon I'm ready for the big game this weekend." Goyle grunted and slapped his other half Crabbe on the shoulder. 

" Aren't you nervous about the concussion you and Crabbe received last game. Hooch says if you get one more you probably will die. " Harry arched his eyebrow. 

" Don't listen to him you two, you listen to your captain here, Mr. El Capitan. You won't be dying on my field that's for sure. Potter's just scared that he's going to lose since he's not the best seeker in the school anymore, Mr. I'm Not the Best Seeker in the School Anymore. " Draco let out a arrogant laugh and shook his head. 

"Listen, just because I went for the snitch last game, fell off my broom and killed that first year girl, god rest her soul, does not mean I'm a poor player! Besides I don't need Quidditch to prove my popularity. It seems as though you forgot I'm dating the hottest girl in school. " Harry smirked and nodded his head towards the three girls walking down the hall. 

Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson moved with a sexy elegance down the hall, purposely pushing smaller kids out of their way. They approached the group of boys and Alicia quickly stepped forward and snapped her fingers. 

"Harry, we need some TT to the A to the big L K. " , Harry furrowed his brow and shrugged. Alicia sighed and rolled her eyes. " Some time to talk you git. " 

"What is it Alicia, just tell me right now I need to get to class on time. " Harry adjusted the bag on his shoulder and sighed. 

" Fine, well basically I realized that I could do much better than you and I decided to date Oliver. You're out Harry dear, and Oliver is so the in. Sorry. " Alicia shrugged and looked over her shoulder as Oliver approached. 

" Quidditch is beautiful…Alicia is beautiful…" Picking up Harry's hand he kissed it softly. " Your hands are beautiful…you have hands of a seeker. I love seekers. " 

" Merlin…" Harry tugged his hand away from Oliver. Turning to Alicia he frowned. " If you do this Alicia don't think you can ever have me back. " He spat. 

Alicia remained quiet for a good long moment before dropping her head to the ground. " Damn, Harry! " She bent over and wiped at her shoe. " You just spit all over my brand new suede shoes !" Grabbing Oliver by the arm she pulled him away. Katie and Angelina followed at her heels. 

"Well looks like you really are, Mr. I'm Not the Best Seeker in the School Anymore Who Just Got Dropped By the Hottest Witch in School, After All." Draco let out a smug laugh again. 

" What do you think Lee? Am I some loser now? " Harry turned to Lee who shoved his hands in his pockets. 

" Don't look at me dude, I'm just here cause they needed a black guy in the story. " Lee shook his head. " I'm just here to say things like, " Shit, Damn, and That is Wack." 

Harry absorbed this information then nodded in agreement. " Well fine. Who needs her anyone. What was in it for me anyway?" 

"Money." 

"New Clothes." 

"Good sex." 

"King of the Ball." 

Harry looked between his friends and curled his fists tightly. " I don't need Alicia to be King of the Ball. She's totally replaceable. I mean who does she think she is, Im…Harry Potter. " 

"I'll give you one word my friend, Queen of the Ball.." Thinking about what he said for a mere moment Draco stuffed his hands in his pocket and removed a comb. Slowly he brought it through his hair until it was absolutely perfectly in place. " She is the golden goddess, and your nothing without her. " 

" You listen here Draco, I guarantee any girl here could be Queen of the Ball. " 

" Do I smell, " Draco sniffed the air and rubbed his hands together, " a bet?" 

" What kind of a bet, Draco?" Harry looked at him skeptically. 

"I'll pick any girl that walks down this hall, and you have to turn her into Queen of the Ball. " 

" You're on Draco. " Harry held out his hand and Draco shook it firmly. 

"Alright Harry Harry Things Are About to Get Quite Scary. " Slinging his arm around Harry's shoulder he looked down the hall. 

"What about her?" Harry suggested, pointing to a Slytherin sixth year with a hunched back. 

"Baby's got a lot of back… hunch back that is, _but_ she could still easily be Queen of the ball." Draco continued looking. 

"How about that one?" Harry nodded towards a very pale Hufflepuff girl who was strumming a guitar in the corridor. 

" I have no pigments…." The girl sang. 

"Listen Potter, any girl with a guitar is hot. " 

" I need sunscreen…." 

"Granted she's a hippie vampire but she could still be Queen of the ball." Draco shook his head again and sighed. " Now I mean I'm looking for a real fixer-uper. A real piece of work. I'm looking for a real shitbomb." There was a yelp from behind them and they turned around rapidly. Hermione laid sprawled out in front of them, her books scattered in front of her. " Ding ding ding, I think we found our winner." Draco grabbed his stomach in laughter. 

"Oh no, no no no! " Harry waved his hands disapprovingly. " Not Granger. Anyone but Hermione Granger. I mean look at her. She has bushy hair…and carries books….and oh god…she has quill ink on her cheek." 

"Damn, that is wack." Lee let out a thunderous roar of laughter. 

" Good luck my friend, and may…well…may I be the victor." Draco let out a hearty laugh. 

Harry looked over at Hermione as she bustled down the hall with her books. How in the world was he going to make her Queen of the ball, and most of all, how could he do it while keeping his popularity in tack? 

"God, this would be so hard if I wasn't Harry Potter…but I am…" He smirked.

"Hey Harry! Harry mate! " Glancing over his shoulder Harry arched his eyebrow at an approaching Fred Weasley. " Harry there is something you need to know…"

"I don't have time for you Weasley " Pushing by Fred Harry disappeared down the hall after Draco, Lee, Crabbe and Goyle. 

Fred slowed down to a slight jog and let out a deep breath. " …but you need to know that everything is wrong…" 

__

Stay tuned for interaction between Hermione and her Obsessed Best Friend Ron, and the arrival of the Foreign Exchange Student. Also, we can look forward to more antics between Seamus, Dean and Neville, and the first confrontation between Hermione and Harry. Will George and Fred help save Hogwarts, or will they get caught up with the naked Foreign Exchange girl? 


	4. The Confrontation

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Harry Potter, and I do not own any movie that these ideas come from. This is simply just for fun.

AN: Sorry the last chapter was so short but I was under some pressure to get it all out to you. This chapter is longer and shows a bit more about our characters. For those who may have forgotten the character list, here it is again: 

Harry Potter ~ The Popular Jock

Hermione Granger ~ The Pretty Ugly Girl 

Ron Weasley ~ The Obsessed Best Friend 

Draco Malfoy ~ The Cocky Blonde Guy 

Lee Jordan ~ The Token Black Guy

George & Fred Weasley ~ The Voices of Reason

Ginny Weasley ~ The Invisible Friend 

Angelina Johnson ~ Cheerleader Number One 

Alicia Spinnet ~ Cheerleader Number Two 

Katie Bell ~ Cheerleader Number Three 

Seamus Finnegan ~ The Desperate Virgin 

Dean Thomas ~ The Wannabe 

Neville Longbottom ~ The Sensitive Guy 

Dumbledore ~ The Really Old Perverted Guy 

Fleur Delacour ~ The Foreign Exchange Student 

Crabbe & Goyle ~ The Equally Stupid Guys 

Cho Chang ~ The Perfect Girl 

Oliver Wood ~ The Beautiful Weirdo 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3 ~ The Confrontation 

Hermione sighed as she held onto her books. Things never seemed so bad when she gripped tightly to her favorite stories and textbooks. Especially the constant taunting form Harry and his gang of goons. Who exactly did he think he was anyway? With a shake of her head she opened up her bag and slide a few of her books inside. 

" Here's…..Ron!" Ron jumped out from behind a group of giggling girls and flashed Hermione a nerdy toothy grin. 

" Hey Ron, how was your weekend ? " Hermione glanced at him for only a second and continued to fumble around with her bag. 

" Well I spent a lot of time going over some of my homework and then spent countless hours outside your dormitory door screaming your name in a fit of love and devotion and then I…." 

" Oh that's real nice Ron. Well I'll see ya in Muggle Studies. " Without any recognition to his words she turned quickly and headed off down the hall. 

Ron stared after her, a dazed look plastered across his face. " I was so close…damn " With a slight frown Ron turned as well and followed after Hermione. 

Hermione barely noticed Ron at her heels as she weaved throughout the crowd of students towards her Muggle Studies classroom. 

"Excuse me Ms. Granger, but Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office." Hermione halted in her steps and smiled up at her favorite Professor. 

" Of course Professor McGonagall, I'll head there straight away." Hermione adjusted her bag and turned down the corridor towards Dumbledore's office. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Did you see what Lavander Brown was wearing today?" Seamus let out a groan and slapped his friend Dean across the back. 

" I bet she'd make a hell of a shag. " Dean in turn slapped Neville on the back who let out a yelp. 

" You guys are so insensitive. Girls aren't these toys that we pick up and play with. They need to be nurtured, loved and…dear lord take a look at Parvati." Neville felt his eyes bulge out of his skull as Parvati walked be in a very low cut blouse. 

Quickly they followed behind her and peaked into the girls dormitory. _For the love of Merlin!_ There were about a dozen girls completely topless having a giant pillow fight. Their mouths dropped open in unison and each gasped. Unfortunately the door closed and Seamus whined in disappointment. 

" It is a hormonal fantasy in there. Can you image what they're doing…to each other. " Seamus pushed back from the door and shook his head. " I mean they must do things like that all the time. Its our mission to get in there and see it all first hand. " 

" Oh yeah Seamus, and how are we going to do that?" Neville pushed his hands into his pockets. 

Seamus thought for a momen. He had to satisfy his quench for the beautiful voluptuous female! And then a brilliant idea popped into his head. An utterly brilliant idea. " I have a plan my friends, a great grand and wonderful plan…." 

~~~~~~~~

"It's perfectly fine with me Fleur if you want to keep your culture alive. I indeed fine that a wonderful thing, and we here at Hogwarts do insist that your move here be a as comfortable as possible." Dumbledore licked his bottom lip as he stared intently at Fleur Delacour. 

" Dat is very nice ovf you Dumbliedorie.." Fleur flashed a huge smile and flicked her hair over her shoulder. 

" Of course Fleur. Hogwarts is known for making transitions very easy." He winked at her again and rubbed his beard between his fingers. 

" I'm very 'appy and can't vait for boys to svend all attention on me." Nodding furiously Fleur reached for her bag on the floor. 

A knock on the door caused Dumbledore to break his stare from Fleur and rise from his seat. Moving swiftly across the room he opened his door and smiled as Hermione stepped inside. 

"Thank you for arriving so quickly Hermione. I have a small job for you this morning. " Dumbledore ushered her over to Fleur and Hermione did a quick double take. " Hermione this is Fleur she stayed her at Hogwarts for our tournament not to long ago. It would be a great help if you could just give her a tour of the school."

Hermione felt her face turn a slight shade of red and she held out her hand. " Nice to meet you Fleur." 

" T'ank you 'Ermione." Slinging her clear backpack over her shoulder Hermione took a breath. 

"Um, I like your backpack." With a half smile to Dumbeldore, Hermione lead Fleur out of the office . 

Dumbledore sighed and sat back in his chair. Fleur seemed like a very nice girl. She would do well with her studies as well as other things. After all there weren't any girls at Hogwarts who's culture required them to walk around naked. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ron sat down next to Hermione and reached for a piece of fried chicken. He watched her as she slowly ate a banana and his stomach began to quiver. _Oh if only I could be that banana! _ Of course it was only as matter of time before she realized how much she loved him. She was just suppressing her inner feelings. But he had something that could change that entirely. His homework for muggle studies was just what he needed to win Hermiones heart forever. 

" Hey Hermione." He breathed out slowly and tried to remain calm. 

" Hey Ron." 

"Hermione, could I read you my poem that I wrote for muggle studies homework." His heart began to beat faster and almost burst from his chest as she nodded. "O...o…ok." Clearing his throat he removed a crumbled piece of parchment from his pocket. 

" The Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Hermione, by Ron Weasley. " Ron took another breath and began. " I love Hermione more then words can say, I think about her every day, I only wish to be her guy…and here are the top ten reasons why. I love the way Hermione walks, I love it when Hermione talks. I love it when she reads, I love it when she feeds…her cat. I love it when she says hi and I love it when she says, See ya in Muggle Studies. " A tear ran down his cheek and he tried to calm himself down by taking a quick breath. " I love it when she combs her hair and when she…I love her when she…" It all became to much and he broke out into a fit of hysterics. 

Hermione sighed, bit into her chicken, and turned her attention to a noise next to her. Harry Potter was sitting next to her with a smug expression on his face. 

" Hey Hermione." He smirked causing a few girls around them to sigh. Ron frowned and shoved his poem back into his pocket. 

" Hey Harry. " Hermione furrowed her brow and continued to eat her chicken. 

" Hermione, how would you like to be the most popular girl in school?" Harry leaned his hand on the table and propped his chin upon it. 

" You mean unintelligent, superficial, a bitch, a whore, someone who lacks any serious long term goals? " 

" Yes exactly. " Harry grinned and Hermione rolled her eyes. Leaving her half eaten chicken on the plate Hermione stood from the table and left the Great Hall. Harry let out a deep breath and shook his head. This could possibly a lot harder then he imagined. 

" Hey Harry, I'd like to be popular. I really would. " Ginny Weasley ran around the table towards Harry. " Harry, did you hear me. I'd like to be popular. Why don't you talk to me? " 

Harry stared quizzically at the ceiling and began walking towards the door. Without even noticing he pushed Ginny onto the floor and strode by her. No one even noticed her lying there. 

" Oi, Ginny are you alright?" George ran towards his sister and helped her to her feet. " I can't believe Harry did that. "

"Me either…" Ginny brushed off her skirt. " It wasn't supposed to be like this…" 

George arched his eyebrow and decided to try and level with her. " Ginny you need to know something. Everyone in school has been changed into wild teen movie characters. Everything is out of control." 

Ginny just flashed him a very bored expression and left the Great Hall in hopes to be noticed by someone other then her brother. George on the other hand cursed to himself. He really did hope things were going a lot easier for his brother Fred. 

" Excusè me…" A voice tang behind him. " Can you 'elp mè ?" George turned around and felt his tongue roll from his lips. 

__

"Finally! The Naked Foreign Exchange Girl!" 

Stay Tuned for more Hermione and Harry action as well as a little pep from our trio of chasers. We will also find out exactly what Seamus' plan was, and if it really was as genius as he thought. 


	5. Chaotic Cheers and Venting Fiascos

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Harry Potter, and I do not own any movie that these ideas come from. This is simply just for fun.

AN: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate them more then you all possibly know. Sorry this has been taking so long to get going. Sometimes writers block is a witch. Now back on with the next chapter of this little ditty…..

Harry Potter ~ The Popular Jock

Hermione Granger ~ The Pretty Ugly Girl 

Ron Weasley ~ The Obsessed Best Friend 

Draco Malfoy ~ The Cocky Blonde Guy 

Lee Jordan ~ The Token Black Guy

George & Fred Weasley ~ The Voices of Reason

Ginny Weasley ~ The Invisible Friend 

Angelina Johnson ~ Cheerleader Number One 

Alicia Spinnet ~ Cheerleader Number Two 

Katie Bell ~ Cheerleader Number Three 

Seamus Finnegan ~ The Desperate Virgin 

Dean Thomas ~ The Wannabe 

Neville Longbottom ~ The Sensitive Guy 

Dumbledore ~ The Really Old Perverted Guy 

Fleur Delacour ~ The Foreign Exchange Student 

Crabbe & Goyle ~ The Equally Stupid Guys 

Cho Chang ~ The Perfect Girl 

Oliver Wood ~ The Beautiful Weirdo 

Chapter 4 ~ Chaotic Cheers and Venting Fiascos 

Alicia Spinnet rolled her eyes as she sat at the long table out on the Quidditch Pitch. The sky was a beautiful blue and the breeze that was blowing across the stadium sent a shiver down her spine. Glancing to either side of her she gave a slight smile to her friends Angelina and Katie. They had been undergoing a bit of trouble ever since Harry had that incident at the last game, and now it was up to them to find a replacement seeker just in case they decided to boot Harry from the team. 

"Alright, this weekend is the game against Slytherin and that team always brings it, so we need to find someone with extra special seeker spirit. " 

" Bring what Alicia?" Katie cocked her eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. 

" What?" Alicia snapped back, her forehead scrunching up the slightest. God how she absolutely hated how everyone was so inferior to her. They should definitely raise the standards of Hogwarts and send only those worthy. 

"What exactly is 'it'? Angelina chimed in from her other side. 

" 'It' is just what they bring ok…" Rolling her eyes again she let out a deep breath and propped her chin in her hand. " Now back on to more important business. Next!!" 

There was a murmur in the crowd and a petite blonde headed girl poked through the crowd and waved politely at the girls. 

"Hi! I'm Mary Sue and it's simply swell to meet you. " Her mouth stretched out into a large smile and she waved again. 

" Can you at just show us your moves?" Alicia yawned and began filing her nails.

"Oh you betcha!" Grabbing a broom from the floor she swung her legs over the side and began to push from the ground until she jerked forward violently. " Shit-lip-fag-sucker…" the words flew from her mouth in such a rapid speed that the three girls stared at her in awe. 

"What was that?" Alicia nearly choked out. 

"Oh, that.." Sandy let out a giggle, " that was my turettes.." 

"I don't think she is safe to fly Alicia…" Katie began. 

"Don't you tell me what to do Bell…remember this is not a Quid-ocracy….I'm the Quid-tator! " Looking over the other few people that were standing there Alicia tapped her quill to her chin. 

"Come-on-stick-a-finger-in-my-ass…shit-face…" Sandy bit her lower lip. 

Alicia sighed and then slammed her book shut. Pointing to Sandy with her quill she gave a nod. " She'll Quid-do…" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Neville stared skeptically at Seamus as they hoisted themselves up into the the air vents of the school. It wasn't as though they didn't want to see the half naked girls hit each other with feather pillows, it was just that they didn't think that this plan of Seamus' would work out so well. After all the last plan they followed of his had them serving a weeks worth of detention helping McGonagall give some elders sponge baths at the Retirement Home for Witches and Wizards. Neville shuddered as that thought shot through his mind. 

"Hey Seamus, mate, you sure this is a good idea?" Neville bit his lower lip and shimmied through the vents with his two pals. 

"Of course I'm sure this is a good idea. You two just wait. Once we can look down into the girls dormitories you'll be thanking me like I was Merlin or something." Seamus smirked and looked over his shoulder at Neville. 

"Don't be frontin with us Seamus. If you screw this up I'll bust a cap in your ass." Dean let out a frustrated groan and glanced down through the vent below him. "Hey! Guys…jackpot…" 

Below Lavender and Parvati giggled wildly as they emerged from the bathroom. Wrapped in towels. Lavender tossed her long blonde hair carelessly over her shoulder and Parvati just let out another fit of laughter. 

"You need to stop laughing Parv, someone may suspect something. " Lavender grinned.

"Well, I can't help it Lav. Sometimes your body just sends shivers down my spine." Parvati grabbed her stomach in hysterics. 

"Well it wont be happening again Parv." Lavender opened up the door and left with a giggling Parvati at her heels. 

Above them a disappointed trio of boys let out a groan. "Bloody hell, we missed it." Seamus pounded his fist on the metal vent and cursed under his breath. "Come on, lets move to a different vent." 

Shuffling through the narrow passage, Seamus felt his excitement grow as he heard muffled noises coming from the nearing vent. 

"Oh, look a chocolate frog…" Neville called from the rear of the group. 

Dean shook his head with disapproval but his mind quickly veered in another direction once they looked into the new vent. 

"Oh Merlin! That's McGonagall….and Snape! They are totally snogging!" Seamus squeaked out, trying desperately to suppress his laughter. 

"Oh man, check that out. I don't know whether to be disgusted or root on old Snapey!" Dean slapped Seamus on the back and grinned. 

"This really isn't so bad for two old people. I didn't know McGonagall could move like that." Neville chimed in, taking a bite out of the chocolate frog he found in the vent. 

"Oh Severus, take me now. Show me the wild manticore that breathes inside of you!" McGonagall wailed. 

The boys bit back on their tongues and nearly died with laughter. "This is by far the best day of my life…" Seamus managed to blurt out through his laughing. 

"I know…I know…" Neville rolled onto his back and slapped at the side of the vent. A squeaking noise softly echoed through the space and Neville ceased his laughing. "Hey, did you guys hear that?" 

"Hear what, my man?" Dean coughed out before the vent holding them lurched. " What the- " The vent lurched again and the boys yelped. 

"Minerva, do you hear that?" Snape pulled back from her for a brief moment before glancing up at the ceiling. 

"Hear what, Sevie-poo?" McGonagall batted her eyelashes and tilted her face towards the ceiling. 

Unfortunately at the same moment the entire vent came crashing through the ceiling spilling out the three boys in front of the professors. Each of them looked up sheepishly, their faces a deep shade of red. 

"My word! " McGonagall screamed. " Detention! Detention! Detention! " She wiped her brow, and picked up her robe from the floor. "And if any of you boys spill a word of this I'll send you straight to Azkaban!" She stormed out.. 

"Not before I practice my unforgivable curses on you first." Snape turned towards the door but paused for a brief moment. Turning back to the boys he scowled. " Detention will be served with me tonight. I expect you to be at my chambers no later then 7. " Turning on his heel he stormed out of the room.

Dean and Neville stared at each other for a few minutes before slowly turning towards Seamus. Oh there would be hell to pay before detention tonight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry took a long look at himself in the mirror on his wall. Oh why was he blessed with such dashing good looks? Sometimes he just couldn't believe he was so devilishly handsome. Yet that wasn't the real reason he was in his room, Sirius had promised to send an owl and Harry had a few questions he would like answered. One in particular being how in the hell he was going to capture Hermiones heart and turn her into a prom, queen. 

"Think Potter, think…" Harry began to pace his dorm room. " What could possibly be done to show Hermione that I am a decent guy?"

Ginny Weasley took a deep breath as she stood outside Harry's dormitory door. She had dazzled herself up a bit more then usual, but she had to admit she looked pretty cut in the green dress she bought last summer. After all a little cleavage never hurt anyone. Especially the male gender in particular. 

Smoothing out her dress again she closed her eyes and firmly knocked on the door. She knew he was inside, only because she had followed him casually throughout the day. 

"Harry? Hello Harry are you in there?" She heard a murmur and squealed with excitement as she heard the door handle begin to turn. "Harry I- oomph " Ginny squeaked again as she fell back on the floor. 

Harry on the other hand blew right by Ginny without even noticing her. He was far to caught up in the brand new plan he had thought up. He was going to make Hermione his, and then the bet would surly be in his hands. 


End file.
